Why do we love chaos?????

I was asked this question today and it is not an easy one to answer. For many of us we grew up in chaos and it is the only life we know. When there is not chaos in our lives we do not know how to act or behave - so we create chaos - even when it hurts us or the people around us. People that grew up in dysfunctional homes are used to chaos - it is their reality. The hard part is when you try to go from the adolescent living the chaos to an adult in an adult relationship. If we match up with someone who did not grow up in chaos they question why we always have to complicate things. Why things can't be calm and just "normal" but, to us chaos is normal. It is only after we have been hurt many times do we start to question whether our way of doing things is really the right way. After we have loved and lost many times. After we have gone through an addiction or the loss of numerous jobs. Chaos is filled with loss. It eats away at your self esteem and your concept of sanity. It takes a strong person to come to the reality that chaos is not normal in day to day life. That the adrenaline rush they get from the initial chaos is not worth the mountain of heartache that will follow. A person who is used to chaos struggles on a moment to moment basis to handle things without adding drama to the situation. It is not that they are actively seeking out drama it is just that they know no other way of getting their needs met. To love someone that craves chaos takes a lot of patience. It is hard to change this behavior. The first step is to realize that you are in that cycle. Once you realize you are in that cycle you have to make a conscious decision to change it - and that takes a lot of patience on every ones part. It is possible to change and to learn how to deal with calmness or as some people like to call it mindfulness. My challenge for you today is to try to see the chaos people in your life in a different life. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their reality. If you can try to bring some mindfulness to their life. You never know what an extra five minutes of your time could do for this person.