Remember to laugh!

Did you ever have one of those days that you just wanted to scream or find the largest rock to hide under? What I have realized over the years that how you make it through those days is to laugh. Find something that makes you laugh, a movie, a good friend - anything to get you from focusing on what has gone on during the day. Pamper yourself a little bit - take a long bubble bath, if you drink - have a glass of wine and kick back on the recliner. Laughter truely is the best medicine. I had one of those days yesterday and was close to my limit of tolerance - I took a step back closed my eyes and pictured this gorilluea dance that my partner does. Crazy I know but it did the trick. I was able to get on with my day and do the things I needed to do. Life is all how we see it. If all we see is obstacles then we will accomplish little in life. If we are able to see all the possible solutions then we have the chance to try something and if it does not work we still have a list of other possibilities to try. Laughter is the bodies way to release stress and relax. My challenge for you today is to have a big laugh - try to see the flip side to any situation and just imagine the wacky ways you could deal with it.

Empathy

A lot of people when they hear this word think of sorrow or pity - but it is neither. Rather it is the ability to put yourself into another persons shoes and to feel what they have experienced. It takes a very special person to be able to do this. Many times when things overwhelm us we shut down and do not really listen to what the other person is saying to us. What they are saying to us is to powerful and sometimes hard to understand. What we have to realize that all the person is looking for is someone to talk to. Someone who will listen and not give advice or simple answers. People who are experiencing grief need to know that they are not alone. We need to give them a safe place to express themselves and to feel supported. There are many things that can happen to people that we as outsiders find hard to understand or comprehend - but that is life. Life is not simple and does not come neatly packaged. Bad things happen to good people and all they are looking for is someone to listen. If the situation is too overwhelming for you then be honest and tell that person that you would love to listen but find it too hard to do so. My challenge for you today is to truely listen to anothers pain and be present for them. Remember all they are looking for is someone to love and support them.

Change of Seasons

Just like all things in life nature has its way of telling us when it is time for change. This is my favorite time of the year. I love to smell the fresh crisp air and watch the leaves turn. It reminds me a lot of life in general. We all have to take time to notice change in our life and be prepared for it when it happens. There are always little hints that tell us that change is upon us - the key is whether or not we listen to these hints. Sometimes we try to fight change and all it does is frustrate us. If we just accept change as a normal part of life we enjoy the journey a lot more. We are not supposed to know what happens next - that is the beauty of life. It is constantly giving us new challenges and new chances to test ourselves. We have to be ready to face life head on and not run from the challenges that are places before us. Every recoverying person knows that change it inevitable. We have to learn to take the good and not so good and use it to further our lives. No matter what happens in our life there is something we can learn from it. We have to be open to this learning and not be so set in our ways. My challenge for you today is to notice what it out there right in front of you - embrace it and make it your friend!

War

I find this topic very hard for me. I have family members that have been part of the Armed Forces and I have supported them 100%. I myself was in ROTC and would have followed through with enlisting if I could have. I believe in the values that are learned in training - leadership, fellowship, determination etc... I guess the problem I have is how can people learn that war does not work. We kill people to show them that killing is wrong - what sense does that make????? I cannot even fathom how many innocent people have died - Americans and all the others - as the result of our need to force our values on someone else. This philosophy can be found on the city streets as easily as it can be found on the battlefields. We think that aggression will solve our problems and all it does is create more aggression. We need to learn how to talk about problems and solve them face to face. To many times we go around the issues and never really solve what the root problems are. If was could just talk to our "enemies" we may find that they are not as different as ourselves. They have their own beliefs and values. We may not agree with their values and beliefs but isn't diversity what this world is all about? We need to learn how to work with each other while respecting each other in the process. I love all veterans and support them 100% - what I do not support is war. Our veterans go to war for us but then how do we treat our veterans when they return. Many our homeless, have mental and physical disabilities, and cannot care for their families. If we treated our veterans as well as we treated our athletes this world would be a much better place. We have to start taking care of each other and not be so concerned about "I". My challenge for you today is to find a veteran and tell them how much you appreciate (d) their sacrifice. Is is little act that will go a long war to healing deep scars.

Parenting

In the field I work in I have seen my share of very good and very bad parents. I am not a parent myself so I cannot say I have experienced the stress and joys of being a parent but, I have observed enough families and children to make some observations. It is not important what the parent does when they are with their children - all that matters is that they are there with them sharing the same space. Sometimes it helps for the parent to allow the child to pick the activity they are going to participate in -sometimes you just go with the flow. When I talk to adolescents they tell me the most important thing they want from their parents is to listen to them. To not always have the answers but to just allow them to express themselves and make their own choices. I have found that families that work through problems together are stronger and feel more connected as a family unit. There are so many things now adays that pull familes apart from jobs to health problems that any time spent with each other should be special. I am not saying you have to do anything special - what I'm saying is to make the most of the time you have. Parents need to know what their limitations are and be willing to ask for help when they need it. Kids need to try and somtimes succeed and sometimes fail. That is how they learn. If you think back to your childhood - you learned more from your mistakes then from your successes. Do not protect your children from the consequences of their actions. It is better they learn as children then as adults the consequences of their actions. My challenge for you today is to take the time to tell the ones that you love that they are special and you value what they bring to your relationship. Remember time is precious.

Finding Serenity

Where does one find serenity? Is it in the viewing of a beautiful sunset or maybe sitting on a log deep in the forest? Serenity can be found anywhere if you are looking for it. So many of us complicate our lives worrying about the little things and miss the big picture. There is so much that happens each day that can bring joy and fulfillment into our lives but, we get lost in the mundane. We have seek serenity and we will find it. It is there for anyone to take. I find serenity in the eyes of my wife, in the enjoyment of watching my cats wrestle and most importantly I find it in nature. The Great Spirit has given us so many wonderful gifts to enjoy each day. This time of year especially you can see the work of the Great Spirit in the turning of the leaves. I know that when things start to get out of control in my life I have to break things down into smaller chunks. That way I can focus and do what I need to without getting lost in the big picture. Just for today take a moment to enjoy the pleasures around you. I challenge you to use all your senses - what do you see - what are the colors? What do you smell - what does it remind you of? Feel the earth beneath your feet - how does it feel. Seek Serenity and you will find it!

JT

You may be wondering who or what JT is? Well JT is really Jethro Tahigwha Heimel-Heck - the youngest member of our tribe at five months. JT is teaching me a lot. He is a lot like Digger who is now 17 and those that remember Digger as a baby remember he was a hell yung! JT is so full of life. He does things that just baffle and amaze me. He will climb to the highest spot and then just through himself off and bang onto the floor. I ask myself how can a cat be so dumb to just let himself fall from such a high place but - then I thought for a moment. JT does not realize it is crazy to do that - he is just having fun with no abandon. Something that we forget to do as we get older in life. JT will take on the meanest cat of our tribe with no hesitation. To him it is just another challenge in life - even though we as his mothers see it as suicide! He loves all of his brothers and judges none of them. If he wants to take a nap he will curl up with anyone one of them - even the ones that do not like him too much. Slowly but surely JT is winning over the ones who at first did not like him. He is doing this by not judging and continuing to show love and warmth no matter how they treat him. Just think if we took this philosophy out into society. Think of all the conflicts that could be avoided and how many friends we could make. If we did not see our foe as our enemy we may actually make a friend. My challenge to you is what can you learn from your "enemies". All the people we dislike for whatever reason have something to teach us - so what can you learn today?

Music - What tune do you hear?

Yes, I admit it I once was a band fag and I'm proud to admit that. I learned to love music from my mother. My grandmother sang in the Opera and my mother was brought up listening to opera and playing the piano. My mother brought the love of her piano to her children and her grandchildren. I learned to play the piano at a very young age. I took lessons up till the point of high school and regret that I stopped so I could play more sports. In school, I played the bells. I'm not sure what made me decide on that instument but I think I liked the sound of the bells and I liked that there was only me playing them in the band. My instrument was unique and stood out in concerts. I loved carrying my heavy bells back and forth to school. I still can hear the sound that they made and wish I could get my hand on a set of them now. I love the piano to. I loved playing in recitals as a child and remember the look of pride on my mother's face as I played. I think about the music that I listen to now and most of it has a lot of Piano in it. Music is a language and what you listen to should talk to you. I like artists that use the piano a lot. Some of them are Phil Vasser, Billy Joel, Meatloaf, Bob Seger, Carole King and Carly Simon to name a few. If you really want to listen to pure piano music then you have to listen to Jim Brinkman, Yanni, John Tesh, or David Lang. I also love the opera - which I got from my grandmother. I hated it as a child but now really enjoy it. I love Pavorroti and really enjoy listening to the young Josh Groban. If I need to just kick back and relax all I need to do is listen to something that has the piano as the key instrument and I am carried to such a peaceful and calm place. Music is a language that anyone can understand - people from all walks of life - different cultures, religions. beliefs all have the language of their music to share with you. So my challenge for you today is two fold. One, what does you music say about you and what does it say to you? Secondly, what does the culture of the music you listen to say about your values and beliefs? All music says something - so what does yours say? Hey I would really love to hear your comments on this so please leave your comments at the bottom. Thanks!

Friendship

Friendship has always been a tricky thing for me. Growing up I was very outgoing and had a ton of people I thought were friends. Then I got to high school and my interests changed as did my group of friends. When I got to college my friends were my drinking buddies. Looking back now I realize that I really didn't have a lot of friends in my life. I remember my mom once telling me - holding one hand up - if you die and you have this many friends you have lived a good life. I didn't know what she meant then but I do now. Friends are people who stay in your life during the good and bad times. They are the ones that tell you the truth even when the truth will hurt. They are the ones that love and accept you for who you are not what you are. I look at my life now and realize that growing up I only had one true friend before college, two good friends in college and now currently I am blessed to say that I can hold up two hands to tell you how many friends that I have. It has been only through the grace of the Great Spirit that these people have been allowed to grace me with their light and I have been blessed to have them share my life. So for today, stop and recognize the friends that you have in your life and tell them thanks for all the good things that they bring to your life - you never know what will happen tomorrow.

Feelings? - Fact or Fiction

Feelings are a tricky thing to understand. Sometimes you think you feel one way but when you look at the situation from another direction your feelings change. I know for me I have felt very wounded lately and I do not know whether this is due to internal or external situations. I can't seem to put a finger on where the feelings are coming from. All that I know is that I feel like a hurt puppy lately and I am walking around with my tail between my legs. Everything that is said to me is taking very personally - even if the person did not mean it that way. I feel like the whole world has a finger pointing at me and I am cowering to avoid their glares. It's hard to express yourself when you feel this way because you do not want to hurt anyone else's feelings in the process. I think that people sometimes do not consider the words they use when they talk to you. They do not realize how their words are wounding you. They cannot see the outside bruises so they are incapable of seeing their effect on you. I think if people could see how their words are hurtful they would be more selective in the words they choose. People do not realize that words are very powerful weapons and can last a lot longer than physical scars. I think just for today we should evaluate how we talk to the people we love and ask ourselves if they are words we would like spoken to us. It's just a small experiment but I believe it could have a profound influence on your relationships.