Adoption - is it truly as wonderful as people say it is?

I've been told by many people how wonderful adoption is but I, as an adopted child beg to differ. Back in the 60's and 70's there were no open adoptions - you just turned your kid over and that was the end of it. Nobody thought of the long term effects this would have on the mother or the child. As an adoped child sometimes I sometimes feel guilty because I do not sing the praises of adoption but this is not because I do not love my adopted family - I do - the issue is I yearn daily for my roots. With closed adoptions the child has no way of knowing where they came from, do they look like their parents, do they have tendancies that there birth family has, what is our heritage and our geneology? They did not take good records back then and nobody can tell me what potential medical issues could be or are part of my genes. I want to know about my birth family. People say to me "well if you found them and they want nothing to do with you it was a waste of your time" - I disagree. If my birth family wants nothing to do with me that is fine - at least I can get some of questions answered and feel more secure in my own skin. Yes, it would hurt if they rejected me but I have to consider what they have gone through and the fact that they may not be prepared to allow me into their lives. I am not looking for another family - I have one that I love deeply - I am just looking for some answers. I will not feel like a whole person until I know my roots. This may sound over stated but think about it. You can see how your nose is like your fathers, or your built like your mother's side of the family, or that cancer runs in your family. What do I have - nothing. I have no clue - I am on this voyage called life and I have no road maps to help me out. I don't know what dangers lay ahead and I have no warning signs of what to look for. I can't say I look like anybody because there is nobody for me to look like. I do not blame the birth mothers for the choices they had to make. Many of them were forced by their families to give the child up - I do not hold them responsible. This mission I am on is not about placing blame or guilt on anyone. It is about finding my roots - finding some type of road map for my life. I know that my desire to search and find my birth family hurts my adopted family and that does sadden me. It is hard to get others to see where I am coming from without them thinking "why does she want to look when she has a perfect family right now." It has nothing to do with whether or not I like my adopted family. It is about finding my roots and nobody can give me those answers but my birth family. Just for one moment, just one moment - imagine that you did not know your name, your geneology, your family medical history, who you looked like in your family - then you tell me that it does not matter what your roots are. These things are the foundation of a persons life and they were taken away without anyone ever considering the harm it did to the child or the birth parents. Society is just starting to realize on some levels the harm that is did cause and more and more birth parents are doing open adoptions. This way the birth parents can stay involved in their child life on some level and the child can have some connection to their roots. Open adoptions does not negate the adopted families place in the childs life. Instead it allows the child the opportunity to know their roots while at the same time being able to be raised by a loving and caring family. The child will probably always consider their adopted family their true family but they will be able to have the opportunity to get to know their birth family and have connection to their roots. I am not against all adoption - I am against closed adoptions and thankfully those draconian days are almost over but the sad truth is many states refuse to open the records on the closed adoptions that happened during the 60's and 70's. Trying to get information from some states is like trying to break into Fort Knox. They make you go through numerous hoops and when you finally think you see the light at the end of tunnel - there is another hoop to jump through. States are hesitant to admit that their policies where harmful so they are resisting opening up the files. What we need is a united effort by adopted children to say "This was wrong and now you need to fix it!" I'm not sure if or when this will happen but until that day I will continue to fight for the right to know my birth family and my roots.